Vice
New member
___________________________"WELCOME, STRANGER"___________________________
The Guide to Having Tons of Fun is the most scientific literature to date! Our talented team of motivated engineers has constructed the blueprint for absolute fun. We know you're probably having doubts, but that negative attitude is likely why you don't have fun to begin with - or friends. Imagine a world where everyone wants to be around you! Breathe the same air you breathe! You can be a true influence on those around you, and use that power to start a cult, or get the girl of your dreams! Heck, it could even help you be a better writer! We aren't saying you're a bad person, only that you could be much, much better. The science is simple and speaks for itself: having fun improves your quality of life! And chances are, you've been taking life too seriously. So, relax and let's get rid of those toxic energies that have made you a big jerk.
Unfortunately, the world changes. Sometimes, people can feel a bit left out. It's a scary world out there - but there's no need to be a bully! You can get what you want, without hitting people over the head for it. Say, for example you want to sleep with your boss' wife and don't want him to know about it? A reasonable answer would be to bludgeon him to death so he can't ever find out... But how is that practical? Think ahead. Think smart. Think fun. It's better to keep him distracted by putting rats in his coat pockets, or slashing his tires while he's at work and you're bedding his betrothed! Just, good ol' fashioned fun.
So, let's look at some simple steps that will give you a better outlook!
- Step 1. - Smile More
- Step 2. - Try Breathing
- Step 3. - Acknowledge What You're Grateful For
- Step 4. - Try Cigarettes
- Step 5. - Imagine Everyone Who Loves You
- Step 6. (if only Step 5 doesn't apply) - Cry It Out
Did any of these help? We thought so! We've been told by various testimonials that our patented system works at least %51 of the time! That's what we like to call a glass half full! These rudimentary steps are only the beginning. This guide will cover a variety of topics and through hard work, dedication and complete and total obedience, your life will be transformed into a more rewarding experience! Your character will thank you, we guarantee it!
___________________________________"BE CURIOUS, NOT JUDGMENTAL"______________________
Your writing is a reflection of you, so don't be stupid, you dingus! Find yourself bored of your own creations? Maybe because your knowledge of writing is similar to your knowledge of a woman's anatomy. But there's a cure: be curious! It doesn't hurt to try new things, explore new ideas and bring some humor into your literary devices. For example, here is a list of ways that can help jolt your robotic writing into something people want to actually read!
1. - Rhyme all of your /me's, like a sonet.
2. - Look in Google for synonyms of your favorite word, and discover a new favorite word!
3. - Make up words! If people tell you, you're an idiot, tell them that Shakespeare did it!
4. - Don't do a /me, do a /it. No one really cares about your character's name.
5. - Try to write an entire paragraph without using the same word twice!
6. - Pick a goal for the day and stick to it! Nobody wants to play with someone who isn't motivated!
7. - Don't ever lessen your writing skills in the face of someone new. Be consistent in your poeticisms!
8. - Never, ever compromise your creativity because you are afraid of what people think.
9. - Write what you know, not what you think you know.
10. - Give yourself a break. There is a difference between serious and sincere.
The average guide will tell you ways of being a functional member of the community. Well, being functional is what helps sustain life - but poetry, love, beauty, and exploration of the new... That is what we live for. The average player will make the discovery after a short while, that he and everyone he plays with, is simply moving in circles. That, by definition, the functions that provide us structure also provide barriers. Rules create more rules. Guides create more guides. Lore creates more lore. Hate creates more hate. Love creates more love.
The reality of these loops is not the issue - it is the choice to value one over the other.
"Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."
- Walt Whitman
Ask yourself this question - what will your verse be?
_________________________________"STEAK, POTATOES & HOTPOCKETS"____________________
Good roleplay is like food. The easier it is to digest, the better it is. Our experts have analyzed every server, numerous times, and have found one thing in common: nobody is hungry for the right stuff. Are you hungry? We hope so! For knowledge, that is. By reading below, you'll find new options, opinions and hopefully a better sense of what the hell you really want out of this whole "RP" thing. And sure, opinions are like assholes - but I'm just a forum post, I don't have one. I only share bitter facts and don't sympathize if you cry.
Leading experts suggest that 9/10 people are idiots - you among them! So, we'll put it in a way you can understand - and relate to!
Everyone eats. That's just a fact. But not everyone has good taste. Personally, I enjoy a nice steak cooked medium rare, a side of mashed potatoes and green beans. Others, enjoy a scorching Hotpocket. Both bring pleasure. But only one of those require you to be high, to enjoy. And the truth is, you're probably someone who enjoys Hotpockets a whole lot. Now, even if that isn't true, it's probably valid to say about your writing and who you are as a player.
Like the Hotpocket, collecting script items, playing dirty and not caring for your fellow man is easy and affordable. It takes real courage to put effort into ones' writing, to create a sympathetic character with depth and complication - like the effort one puts into making that wonderful steak dinner. In the end, everyone would agree, there's no contest between the two. The problem lies within being told that Hotpockets are better, because they're easier to make. That, indeed, this is NOT a writing game, but instead some microwave version of DayZ, where nuance is non-existent and everyone is out for themselves.
To be clear, we're not talking about what goes on thematically with Half-Life 2. Everyone agrees, it is a totalitarianism! It is a terrible place to live! But that doesn't mean you should turn the server into a terrible place to play. Wouldn't it be nice to be encouraged for your writing? To have solace, knowing that your fellow man doesn't wish to end your character on the first day because you made a boo-boo? Wouldn't it, over all things, be nice to know that you're in good hands? If only everyone was on the same team, OOCly? Well, I'm sorry, kid... But here's the rub... They're not. They might never be. Hell, most of the kids you play with don't know the difference between "you're" and "your". The best thing you can do is hold onto your dignity, and make those kids buckle under the weight of your massive paragraph text.
The Taboo Guide to Having Fun isn't just about creative ways to play by the rules. It's also a guide on how to turn those rules into your bitch. So, let's begin.
1. Don't ever carry in-game items, only use the power of your writing to dictate what you have and don't have. That way, when some asshole with a hard-on for killing characters comes about, you'll give him no pleasure in finding menial items that carry an over exaggerated consequence - leading your character away from death and back to developing a story!
2. Tell people when they've made a spelling error, especially if they're your enemy. It will make their power-gaming look even more stupid, and in turn hurt their feelings. At best, they'll pick up a book and start to read - improving their skill, and in turn, their respect for your roleplay. At worst, they'll cry themselves to sleep. Either way, you'll win in the long run!
3. Do you like to write in paragraphs? Are you upsetting the local player-base by taking your time? Good. What else are people here for? Don't even talk to them in LOOC, just keep going and take your time. You're the one showing them what's what! While you're improving your writing, and keeping your dignity by not engaging, you'll annoy them more than they will you!
4. If someone without a heart does manage to kill your character, don't let pride get in the way. Use your ultimate writing skill to make your death more badass than their act. That way, you'll show them who the better player is - even from the grave. Others will take note, and you'll be praised for not losing your cool!
Did any of this help? If not, here's an excerpt of a silly book incase you wanted the TL;DR.
"The Great Tao flows both to the left and to the right,
It loves and nourishes all things but does not Lord it over them,
And when merits are accomplished, it lays no claim to them."
- Lao Tzu, writer of Tao Te Ching
\\//
_________________________________EDITS_________________________________
Just posting this here because I thought it would be a neat, sorta' interesting albeit funny concept. Not really sure how it reads? Let me know.
___________________________________"BE CURIOUS, NOT JUDGMENTAL"______________________
Your writing is a reflection of you, so don't be stupid, you dingus! Find yourself bored of your own creations? Maybe because your knowledge of writing is similar to your knowledge of a woman's anatomy. But there's a cure: be curious! It doesn't hurt to try new things, explore new ideas and bring some humor into your literary devices. For example, here is a list of ways that can help jolt your robotic writing into something people want to actually read!
1. - Rhyme all of your /me's, like a sonet.
2. - Look in Google for synonyms of your favorite word, and discover a new favorite word!
3. - Make up words! If people tell you, you're an idiot, tell them that Shakespeare did it!
4. - Don't do a /me, do a /it. No one really cares about your character's name.
5. - Try to write an entire paragraph without using the same word twice!
6. - Pick a goal for the day and stick to it! Nobody wants to play with someone who isn't motivated!
7. - Don't ever lessen your writing skills in the face of someone new. Be consistent in your poeticisms!
8. - Never, ever compromise your creativity because you are afraid of what people think.
9. - Write what you know, not what you think you know.
10. - Give yourself a break. There is a difference between serious and sincere.
The average guide will tell you ways of being a functional member of the community. Well, being functional is what helps sustain life - but poetry, love, beauty, and exploration of the new... That is what we live for. The average player will make the discovery after a short while, that he and everyone he plays with, is simply moving in circles. That, by definition, the functions that provide us structure also provide barriers. Rules create more rules. Guides create more guides. Lore creates more lore. Hate creates more hate. Love creates more love.
The reality of these loops is not the issue - it is the choice to value one over the other.
"Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."
- Walt Whitman
Ask yourself this question - what will your verse be?
_________________________________"STEAK, POTATOES & HOTPOCKETS"____________________
Good roleplay is like food. The easier it is to digest, the better it is. Our experts have analyzed every server, numerous times, and have found one thing in common: nobody is hungry for the right stuff. Are you hungry? We hope so! For knowledge, that is. By reading below, you'll find new options, opinions and hopefully a better sense of what the hell you really want out of this whole "RP" thing. And sure, opinions are like assholes - but I'm just a forum post, I don't have one. I only share bitter facts and don't sympathize if you cry.
Leading experts suggest that 9/10 people are idiots - you among them! So, we'll put it in a way you can understand - and relate to!
Everyone eats. That's just a fact. But not everyone has good taste. Personally, I enjoy a nice steak cooked medium rare, a side of mashed potatoes and green beans. Others, enjoy a scorching Hotpocket. Both bring pleasure. But only one of those require you to be high, to enjoy. And the truth is, you're probably someone who enjoys Hotpockets a whole lot. Now, even if that isn't true, it's probably valid to say about your writing and who you are as a player.
Like the Hotpocket, collecting script items, playing dirty and not caring for your fellow man is easy and affordable. It takes real courage to put effort into ones' writing, to create a sympathetic character with depth and complication - like the effort one puts into making that wonderful steak dinner. In the end, everyone would agree, there's no contest between the two. The problem lies within being told that Hotpockets are better, because they're easier to make. That, indeed, this is NOT a writing game, but instead some microwave version of DayZ, where nuance is non-existent and everyone is out for themselves.
To be clear, we're not talking about what goes on thematically with Half-Life 2. Everyone agrees, it is a totalitarianism! It is a terrible place to live! But that doesn't mean you should turn the server into a terrible place to play. Wouldn't it be nice to be encouraged for your writing? To have solace, knowing that your fellow man doesn't wish to end your character on the first day because you made a boo-boo? Wouldn't it, over all things, be nice to know that you're in good hands? If only everyone was on the same team, OOCly? Well, I'm sorry, kid... But here's the rub... They're not. They might never be. Hell, most of the kids you play with don't know the difference between "you're" and "your". The best thing you can do is hold onto your dignity, and make those kids buckle under the weight of your massive paragraph text.
The Taboo Guide to Having Fun isn't just about creative ways to play by the rules. It's also a guide on how to turn those rules into your bitch. So, let's begin.
1. Don't ever carry in-game items, only use the power of your writing to dictate what you have and don't have. That way, when some asshole with a hard-on for killing characters comes about, you'll give him no pleasure in finding menial items that carry an over exaggerated consequence - leading your character away from death and back to developing a story!
2. Tell people when they've made a spelling error, especially if they're your enemy. It will make their power-gaming look even more stupid, and in turn hurt their feelings. At best, they'll pick up a book and start to read - improving their skill, and in turn, their respect for your roleplay. At worst, they'll cry themselves to sleep. Either way, you'll win in the long run!
3. Do you like to write in paragraphs? Are you upsetting the local player-base by taking your time? Good. What else are people here for? Don't even talk to them in LOOC, just keep going and take your time. You're the one showing them what's what! While you're improving your writing, and keeping your dignity by not engaging, you'll annoy them more than they will you!
4. If someone without a heart does manage to kill your character, don't let pride get in the way. Use your ultimate writing skill to make your death more badass than their act. That way, you'll show them who the better player is - even from the grave. Others will take note, and you'll be praised for not losing your cool!
Did any of this help? If not, here's an excerpt of a silly book incase you wanted the TL;DR.
"The Great Tao flows both to the left and to the right,
It loves and nourishes all things but does not Lord it over them,
And when merits are accomplished, it lays no claim to them."
- Lao Tzu, writer of Tao Te Ching
\\//
_________________________________EDITS_________________________________
Just posting this here because I thought it would be a neat, sorta' interesting albeit funny concept. Not really sure how it reads? Let me know.
Last edited:
