SnakeSupreme
Active Member
Welcome, investors… to the
Aperture Science Enrichment Center! Where we do stuff. For SCIENCE!
So, what do we do? Well, here’s a pretty simple answer: EVERYTHING! From toilet turrets to portal technology and moon rocks, we’re one of the best military contractors in the world!
You know what they say… When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If you wanna help make some lemonade with your big lemons in a totally ethical work environment, why don’t you work alongside your fellow test subjects in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. If you don’t want to, well too bad! We have plenty of people to replace you with. You fucking moron.
Hey scientists, Cave Johnson here. We’ve got a big plate of stuff to do today, let alone the rest of the year. Speaking of which, you’re not allowed to “hangout” with your family during holidays, that’s just textbook unprofessionalism.
Anyway, today we’re gonna get some more tests running in the next few couple of hours. I wanna see some progress on the new portal gun that the eggheads in robotics managed to produce, so get to it. We’ve also just got a huge batch of test subjects to utilize for your… weird research projects, I’ll just say that. I know I pay the homeless 6 dollars just to go through MY tests, but you don’t have to do anything extra. Anyway, GET BACK TO WORK!
{< WELCOME BACK, CAVE JOHNSON >}
{< PREPARING DATA-LOG #92 >}
{< “The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Engineers said the moon rocks were too volatile to experiment on. Tested on 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed 'em into a gel. And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill. Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor.” >}
{< “Y’know, that new batch of test subjects from a few years back. I want them put into hyper-sleep by the time of my death. Caroline will go against my word, but no matter what happens I want Caroline running the enrichment center. I know she’ll do a good job taking care of the place while I’m gone and I can’t afford to keep this place in the current shape it’s in.” >}
Congratulations, Test Subject-8283$hrhfosowb2919734&3@, you have been selected as a tester for a piece of equipment invented by Aperture Science employees. You will go through series of experiments and testing procedures in order to test out the efficiency and performance of both you and your piece of Aperture equipment.
These testing procedures will take place throughout the process of 2 days. Thank you for partaking in these experiments, and good luck.
These testing procedures will take place throughout the process of 2 days. Thank you for partaking in these experiments, and good luck.
Event idea I came up with a while after making the Black Mesa one. Why not give Portal some love?