joe moter
Radio Bob Approved
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2024
- Messages
- 470
- Thread Author
- #1
CITY 13. DISTRICT 7.
Not some mysterious other district.
DISTRICT 7.
Because apparently the Combine occupation wasn't enough for the people of District 7.
They also have to deal with Omega.
Every time Omega logs into City 13, District 7, the server's collective blood pressure increases by approximately 400%.
You can be peacefully standing around.
Maybe waiting for rations.
Maybe talking to another citizen.
Maybe trying to figure out why your apartment door won't open.
Then suddenly:
Omega has arrived.
And somehow, within six minutes, there is an IC dispute, an OOC dispute, three witnesses, and somebody typing:
“Can we please just RP?”
No.
You cannot.
Omega has decided this is now a constitutional matter.
2/
The completely fictional Omega quote of the day:
“I don't make problems in District 7. I expose problems that were already there.”
Beautiful.
Absolutely inspirational.
Somebody get this man a propaganda poster.
THE COMBINE DOESN'T CONTROL DISTRICT 7.
OMEGA DOES.
3/
You can tell an Omega interaction is beginning when a normal RP situation suddenly requires a legal brief.
A citizen gets stopped by CP.
Omega gets involved.
Someone asks what happened.
Omega explains.
Someone asks for clarification.
Omega provides clarification for the clarification.
Someone disagrees.
Omega provides clarification for that.
Twenty minutes later we're discussing an event that happened outside the District 7 ration center three weeks ago.
4/
And somehow every argument has the same conclusion:
If Omega wins, he's right.
If Omega loses, the RP was bad.
If nobody wins, Omega was still technically right.
If everybody agrees with him, it proves he's right.
If nobody agrees with him, they're obviously biased.
If someone provides evidence, they're taking things too seriously.
If someone doesn't provide evidence, their argument is baseless.
This isn't logic.
This is District 7 municipal government.
5/
Fictional Omega:
“Your character wouldn't know that.”
You:
“Okay, fair.”
Omega:
“Also, your character shouldn't have done that.”
You:
“Why?”
Omega:
“Because it doesn't make sense.”
You:
“Why doesn't it make sense?”
Omega:
“Because your character wouldn't know that.”
WE HAVE RETURNED TO THE BEGINNING.
6/
Imagine being a Civil Protection officer in District 7.
You've got your patrol.
You've got your assigned sector.
You're dealing with some completely ordinary citizen RP.
Then Omega's character walks up.
Officer:
“Move along.”
Omega:
“Under what authority?”
Brother.
YOU ARE IN DISTRICT 7.
THE AUTHORITY IS LITERALLY STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU.
7/
Then somebody inevitably says:
“It's just HL2RP.”
Correct.
It is literally HL2RP.
We're pretending that City 13, District 7 exists.
We're pretending the Combine controls it.
We're pretending there are citizens, CPs, rations, apartments, checkpoints, and dystopian bureaucracy.
And Omega has somehow decided that the most important part of the dystopian experience is making sure everyone understands his interpretation of the rules.
8/
Completely fictional Omega quote:
“I'm not arguing. I'm correcting the historical record.”
THE HISTORICAL RECORD?
BROTHER.
THE SERVER RESTARTED TWENTY MINUTES AGO.
9/
There is also the Omega Principle:
If something happened in District 7 and Omega was present, Omega has an explanation for it.
Nobody knows why the event happened.
Omega knows.
Nobody knows who started it.
Omega knows.
Nobody knows what the characters were thinking.
Omega knows.
Nobody knows why the server crashed.
Omega probably has a theory.
“The server crashed because the RP environment was too advanced.”
10/
And then comes the classic:
“You're only complaining because you lost.”
No.
Sometimes people complain because they didn't enjoy something.
Sometimes they disagree.
Sometimes they think your character did something stupid.
Sometimes your fictional District 7 revolutionary master plan was, in fact, extremely stupid.
That's allowed.
It's RP.
11/
Omega, however, apparently possesses the rare ability to convert criticism into proof of superiority.
Someone says:
“Your character handled that badly.”
Omega:
“So you admit my character affected you.”
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
If I stub my toe on a fictional brick in District 7, does the brick get a promotion?
12/
Another fictional Omega classic:
“If I wasn't important, you wouldn't be talking about me.”
This is technically true.
I am now writing an entire complaint thread about you.
Unfortunately, this means you've achieved exactly what you wanted.
I have been defeated by my own bit.
13/
Meanwhile, somewhere in City 13, District 7, an innocent citizen is just trying to buy food.
They hear yelling.
They look down the street.
There are six people standing around Omega.
One CP is typing.
Two citizens are arguing.
Someone is recording.
Someone else is asking for an admin.
And Omega is explaining why everyone else has misunderstood the situation.
The citizen quietly turns around.
“Maybe I'll just go hungry.”
14/
The most impressive part isn't even the arguments.
It's the endurance.
Most people eventually get tired.
Omega apparently has an internal generator.
You can argue with him for forty-five minutes and he'll still respond:
“Okay, but you haven't addressed my original point.”
WHAT ORIGINAL POINT?
WE'VE CHANGED TOPICS FOUR TIMES.
WE'RE DISCUSSING THE SOCIOECONOMIC STRUCTURE OF DISTRICT 7 NOW.
15/
At some point, the Combine should simply add a new Civil Authority division:
C.C.U. — Containment of Controversial Omega
Primary responsibilities:
Monitor Omega.
Prevent unnecessary debates.
Remove unsecured microphones.
Confiscate argumentative Discord screenshots.
Maintain peace around the District 7 Nexus.
Deploy immediately when someone says “actually.”
16/
And remember:
This is City 13, District 7.
If you're reading this from another district, please stop.
You don't understand our suffering.
You weren't there.
You didn't see the 38-message argument about whether somebody's fictional character was allowed to know something.
You didn't witness the screenshots.
You didn't witness the counter-screenshots.
You didn't witness the counter-counter-screenshots.
You weren't ready.
17/
Completely fictional Omega quote:
“I don't care what people think about me.”
Followed immediately by:
“Also, here's why everyone's opinion of me is incorrect.”
Classic.
Timeless.
Peak District 7.
18/
So here's the final report:
Location: City 13
District: 7
Server: Willard Networks HL2RP
Threat: Omega posting another paragraph
Status: Ongoing
Civilian morale: Questionable
Ration supply: Irrelevant
Omega's confidence: Completely unaffected
Length of argument: Classified
And if Omega responds to this with another 900-word explanation about why this thread proves he's right:
Congratulations.
That's the funniest possible ending.
Not some mysterious other district.
DISTRICT 7.
Because apparently the Combine occupation wasn't enough for the people of District 7.
They also have to deal with Omega.
Every time Omega logs into City 13, District 7, the server's collective blood pressure increases by approximately 400%.
You can be peacefully standing around.
Maybe waiting for rations.
Maybe talking to another citizen.
Maybe trying to figure out why your apartment door won't open.
Then suddenly:
Omega has arrived.
And somehow, within six minutes, there is an IC dispute, an OOC dispute, three witnesses, and somebody typing:
“Can we please just RP?”
No.
You cannot.
Omega has decided this is now a constitutional matter.
2/
The completely fictional Omega quote of the day:
“I don't make problems in District 7. I expose problems that were already there.”
Beautiful.
Absolutely inspirational.
Somebody get this man a propaganda poster.
THE COMBINE DOESN'T CONTROL DISTRICT 7.
OMEGA DOES.
3/
You can tell an Omega interaction is beginning when a normal RP situation suddenly requires a legal brief.
A citizen gets stopped by CP.
Omega gets involved.
Someone asks what happened.
Omega explains.
Someone asks for clarification.
Omega provides clarification for the clarification.
Someone disagrees.
Omega provides clarification for that.
Twenty minutes later we're discussing an event that happened outside the District 7 ration center three weeks ago.
4/
And somehow every argument has the same conclusion:
If Omega wins, he's right.
If Omega loses, the RP was bad.
If nobody wins, Omega was still technically right.
If everybody agrees with him, it proves he's right.
If nobody agrees with him, they're obviously biased.
If someone provides evidence, they're taking things too seriously.
If someone doesn't provide evidence, their argument is baseless.
This isn't logic.
This is District 7 municipal government.
5/
Fictional Omega:
“Your character wouldn't know that.”
You:
“Okay, fair.”
Omega:
“Also, your character shouldn't have done that.”
You:
“Why?”
Omega:
“Because it doesn't make sense.”
You:
“Why doesn't it make sense?”
Omega:
“Because your character wouldn't know that.”
WE HAVE RETURNED TO THE BEGINNING.
6/
Imagine being a Civil Protection officer in District 7.
You've got your patrol.
You've got your assigned sector.
You're dealing with some completely ordinary citizen RP.
Then Omega's character walks up.
Officer:
“Move along.”
Omega:
“Under what authority?”
Brother.
YOU ARE IN DISTRICT 7.
THE AUTHORITY IS LITERALLY STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU.
7/
Then somebody inevitably says:
“It's just HL2RP.”
Correct.
It is literally HL2RP.
We're pretending that City 13, District 7 exists.
We're pretending the Combine controls it.
We're pretending there are citizens, CPs, rations, apartments, checkpoints, and dystopian bureaucracy.
And Omega has somehow decided that the most important part of the dystopian experience is making sure everyone understands his interpretation of the rules.
8/
Completely fictional Omega quote:
“I'm not arguing. I'm correcting the historical record.”
THE HISTORICAL RECORD?
BROTHER.
THE SERVER RESTARTED TWENTY MINUTES AGO.
9/
There is also the Omega Principle:
If something happened in District 7 and Omega was present, Omega has an explanation for it.
Nobody knows why the event happened.
Omega knows.
Nobody knows who started it.
Omega knows.
Nobody knows what the characters were thinking.
Omega knows.
Nobody knows why the server crashed.
Omega probably has a theory.
“The server crashed because the RP environment was too advanced.”
10/
And then comes the classic:
“You're only complaining because you lost.”
No.
Sometimes people complain because they didn't enjoy something.
Sometimes they disagree.
Sometimes they think your character did something stupid.
Sometimes your fictional District 7 revolutionary master plan was, in fact, extremely stupid.
That's allowed.
It's RP.
11/
Omega, however, apparently possesses the rare ability to convert criticism into proof of superiority.
Someone says:
“Your character handled that badly.”
Omega:
“So you admit my character affected you.”
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
If I stub my toe on a fictional brick in District 7, does the brick get a promotion?
12/
Another fictional Omega classic:
“If I wasn't important, you wouldn't be talking about me.”
This is technically true.
I am now writing an entire complaint thread about you.
Unfortunately, this means you've achieved exactly what you wanted.
I have been defeated by my own bit.
13/
Meanwhile, somewhere in City 13, District 7, an innocent citizen is just trying to buy food.
They hear yelling.
They look down the street.
There are six people standing around Omega.
One CP is typing.
Two citizens are arguing.
Someone is recording.
Someone else is asking for an admin.
And Omega is explaining why everyone else has misunderstood the situation.
The citizen quietly turns around.
“Maybe I'll just go hungry.”
14/
The most impressive part isn't even the arguments.
It's the endurance.
Most people eventually get tired.
Omega apparently has an internal generator.
You can argue with him for forty-five minutes and he'll still respond:
“Okay, but you haven't addressed my original point.”
WHAT ORIGINAL POINT?
WE'VE CHANGED TOPICS FOUR TIMES.
WE'RE DISCUSSING THE SOCIOECONOMIC STRUCTURE OF DISTRICT 7 NOW.
15/
At some point, the Combine should simply add a new Civil Authority division:
C.C.U. — Containment of Controversial Omega
Primary responsibilities:
Monitor Omega.
Prevent unnecessary debates.
Remove unsecured microphones.
Confiscate argumentative Discord screenshots.
Maintain peace around the District 7 Nexus.
Deploy immediately when someone says “actually.”
16/
And remember:
This is City 13, District 7.
If you're reading this from another district, please stop.
You don't understand our suffering.
You weren't there.
You didn't see the 38-message argument about whether somebody's fictional character was allowed to know something.
You didn't witness the screenshots.
You didn't witness the counter-screenshots.
You didn't witness the counter-counter-screenshots.
You weren't ready.
17/
Completely fictional Omega quote:
“I don't care what people think about me.”
Followed immediately by:
“Also, here's why everyone's opinion of me is incorrect.”
Classic.
Timeless.
Peak District 7.
18/
So here's the final report:
Location: City 13
District: 7
Server: Willard Networks HL2RP
Threat: Omega posting another paragraph
Status: Ongoing
Civilian morale: Questionable
Ration supply: Irrelevant
Omega's confidence: Completely unaffected
Length of argument: Classified
And if Omega responds to this with another 900-word explanation about why this thread proves he's right:
Congratulations.
That's the funniest possible ending.