- Joined
- Jan 21, 2024
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- 136
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- #1
The Start.
Originally a test of how long the character could keep her head considering a strong disadvantage in her capabilities, that slowly grew overtime to be another character known and loved by a select few of the society.Charlotte Eloise originated from a thought I had a few weeks prior to the characters creation, of how a deaf person would secretly operate under the eyes of the Combine. The significance of this character was never supposed to be strong, nor an important part of any characters story, however as one character progresses, it meets and develops into something more significant than one could imagine.
Overall Experience.
The characters existence as a whole has been an eye opening challenge to other styles of roleplay. Interactivity generally struck as the most difficult task in the beginning, but as this character progresses and becomes more known and loved, interactivity comes as natural as it could get.Crowd-Watching insanity has possibly been one of the most interesting experiences of this entire test, seeing how other people and other characters interact about seeing something that isn't natural or normalized in the current state of the world has given me strong enlightenment over the state of the servers quality in roleplay, and in-character/out-of-character separation. As everyone would see, the quality of how people roleplay in the community varies between the intentions of playing on the server, those who have the desire of Progression or Development have a very large difference in how they respond to this sort of thing.
Development intentions have proved to be the most detailed and realistic with their interactions with this character, the people who genuinely enjoy reeling in a narrative with other people have pushed their characters likeness onto Charlotte, whether it'd be with total kindness, fascination, or hatred for the abnormal. All of these interactions, whether or not it has been in distaste for the character, have been enjoyable in the long run, because it showed the in character side of mindsets from different backgrounds. This is what should be encouraged when in a Serious-Roleplay environment.
Progression intentions unfortunately have been the most stale. The people who have the intention to progress as the most bad-ass rebel, or the most kick-ass Combine, have generally pushed off an incentive to continue on with the character. I found it generally difficult to interact with the people who have this mindset, and generally I personally discourage this from being displayed, but have no input of how people should and shouldn't enjoy their time on the server.
The Backend.
Charlotte Eloise evidently was born a deaf child, living most her life with the people she cared about, generally there was no reason for her to learn the basic needs of survival. However, she still was a child, she took interests in crafts, conning, and generally things that have helped her push into society as it remains today in this age.Originating from the borderlines of Canada, she had been very fond of the American life and how it went about, generally growing an interest in the difference of society in one place, compared to the other. Before the Combine's occupation, her family was generally an isolated bunch, being of about four people in total, her mother, father, and older brother. The people she cared for the most, and the people who kept her on her feet. Their story is as bland as you would expect one to be, after the Combine's occupation, they were separated, unknown of each others' whereabouts. Without a conclusive ending, their story is put on pause.
The Star Child
What I find interesting, is how I got here, and who I have now.
I really don't know how I got here honestly. One really sympathetic cop deciding to show me mercy and not kill me on the spot, snuck me out of the damn processing station before anyone noticed I couldn't hear anything. I don't remember a lot about her, she didn't have a gun, no special features, she just looked like a normal cop from the likes of me. She knew Sign Language, so that's cool, but she had to take me to a dark room, so communicating with me was like trying to talk to a dog who didn't quite understand what humans meant. She introduced herself as the number four? I don't know, it's hard to forget but it's also hard to remember.
We got out, she put me on the nearest train, and passed me through. Nothing came of anything after that, I haven't seen her since.
City 24 isn't a bad city geographically. Generally always cold, but once you got used to it, it wasn't a big deal. The people you meet there aren't always too kind, but there are a few that are. Badger, G, and N are the people I reside around the most. Badger being who he is, reminds me of my brother with his idiotic tendencies, rude behavior, and overall savage nature when it comes to most things. I've come around to giving him the same name as him, devil horns-- or even funnier, the Blonde Devil. 'G', or Gabriel, is a pretty straight forward guy. Really difficult to understand his tone most of the time, his body language is always too static to determine whether or not he was upset or neutral. He's trying though, that's what's important, he tried picking up some Sign Language, but I'm not sure if he understood what he was saying, but really just followed what Badger or 'Eden' said. 'N'-- I still don't know his name, but he's an interesting character. He's hard to understand verbally, the way he says words makes it really hard to read his lips most of the time, so I usually resort to using my notebook for communication with him.
The people around me have generally made me understand who I am, they've made me proud of my name, and as far as I know, haven't given me any reason to fear what I have around them.
Some things more natural than others. If you know me personally, or if you've ever asked, you'd know that I don't have any strict beliefs, religions, or morals that I follow, but I do believe in fate. Things happening with a reason, for a reason. Sometimes I like to think I was born deaf as a punishment to the people around me. Something they've done, or they're going to do ultimately brings me to their life, making them have one new hassle in their life.
Badger.. I don't know what you could've done to people, who you've wronged, or what you're going to do, but if there's anything fate wise to bring on the table, something in your life cursed you with having to hold my hand through things. If it weren't for you, by now my death bed would've been set up long ago. You've had your opportunities to dump me out like a lost puppy, but you haven't..? Why haven't you.
There are things you can't understand. Even If I told you, if I could talk to you and tell you, you couldn't understand it. These things not even I can understand. If there was one thing I could say, if I had one chance to speak, to hear anything.. I would say Thank you, Badger.
I KEEP FUCKING UP! I'M FUCKING EVERYTHING UP, EVERYTHING. THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I DROPPED A STUPID TV ON MY OWN FOOT, AND I KEEP MAKING THINGS WORSE.. Why does he still do it? What about me is special to him.. why does he care so much.. he shouldn't care, it's not worth it.
Badger... Badger.. Where do I begin? The coffee loving merc' with no sense of passive respect, almost makes you more lovable. Your journal broke me, to put it bluntly. I'd genuinely never expect something like that. I could only assume it'd been a bad day for you when you wrote it, most likely one of those days where the cops had been too harsh on you, or me.. but it surely broke me. I felt a piece of me latch onto you, in that same childish way that I felt me and my brother build our connection. It'd been years since I've felt that, and I'm glad you're someone I can trust.
It's hard, especially in these times. I feel like I'm leaving you behind, now that I'm not entirely reliant on you. I don't want to feel that, I want you to be proud of me.. I want you to be happy for me, but I can't get the thought out of my head, you sitting alone, writing whatever jumbles and journal entries, without me there to bother you to all hell.
I feel selfish, moving on without a gift, or a goodbye, or even explaining how I feel to you. You're the one whose been helping me for god knows how long, along with Sandy, and Ramses, but you're.. I don't know, it's hard to even think of any good and unique words to describe anything about you. You make me feel dumb, but I know its difficult for you to express yourself, tough love is your main way to go, and I can respect that. It's.. Heh, I don't know. I can't even think straight after reading that. You weren't even.. mad, just.. God damn it.. I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have snooped around, I shouldn't have read it, without your permission. I feel.. selfish, for reading it. I am selfish.. I'm sorry.
There are things you can't understand. Even If I told you, if I could talk to you and tell you, you couldn't understand it. These things not even I can understand. If there was one thing I could say, if I had one chance to speak, to hear anything.. I would say Thank you, Badger.
Badger... Badger.. Where do I begin? The coffee loving merc' with no sense of passive respect, almost makes you more lovable. Your journal broke me, to put it bluntly. I'd genuinely never expect something like that. I could only assume it'd been a bad day for you when you wrote it, most likely one of those days where the cops had been too harsh on you, or me.. but it surely broke me. I felt a piece of me latch onto you, in that same childish way that I felt me and my brother build our connection. It'd been years since I've felt that, and I'm glad you're someone I can trust.
It's hard, especially in these times. I feel like I'm leaving you behind, now that I'm not entirely reliant on you. I don't want to feel that, I want you to be proud of me.. I want you to be happy for me, but I can't get the thought out of my head, you sitting alone, writing whatever jumbles and journal entries, without me there to bother you to all hell.
I feel selfish, moving on without a gift, or a goodbye, or even explaining how I feel to you. You're the one whose been helping me for god knows how long, along with Sandy, and Ramses, but you're.. I don't know, it's hard to even think of any good and unique words to describe anything about you. You make me feel dumb, but I know its difficult for you to express yourself, tough love is your main way to go, and I can respect that. It's.. Heh, I don't know. I can't even think straight after reading that. You weren't even.. mad, just.. God damn it.. I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have snooped around, I shouldn't have read it, without your permission. I feel.. selfish, for reading it. I am selfish.. I'm sorry.
I want to understand you things, you tell me it's next to impossible, but I'm curious about you now. Eden said you're called Vortigaunts. Whatever it is you are, I don't understand what you are, I have a mixed opinion on you. I mean, who wouldn't? The first ever memory that I've had of your kind wasn't at all pleasant. Hiding in one of those caves, looking to the glowing paintings on the walls one second.. seeing a green beam from behind me, turning back to see my friend split in two.
I'm terrified of you.. but you're not hostile?
My first interaction with one of you face to face was strange.. unnatural. Being able to understand what you're saying without looking at you.. for the first time I could hear something. As overwhelming as it was, it was progress, it was new.
A particular Vortigaunt that I've begun to take a particular interest in..
I'm terrified of you.. but you're not hostile?
My first interaction with one of you face to face was strange.. unnatural. Being able to understand what you're saying without looking at you.. for the first time I could hear something. As overwhelming as it was, it was progress, it was new.
A particular Vortigaunt that I've begun to take a particular interest in..
Ramses.. is a Vortigaunt, V-O-R-T-I-G-A-U-N-T, got it. These things, as they've told us, are just impossible to perceive, would make our head explode, literally. I understand Ramses, they're another Vortigaunt, learned sign language in hopes to communicate with me further. However, unlike the rest they aren't necessarily hostile to me. Trust me, I've had my fair share of Vortigaunt endeavors, but Ramses is a new experience. I like to think of them as a friend, but whether or not that's a mutual thing? Not my book to write, pun intended. Ramses is the kind of Vortigaunt as far as I know that treats the humans as similar to an annoying bug on their arm, but with the exception of a few, including me!
You being mad at me, that stung. I feel like I broke the connection we had, even if it were so little. I wasn't.. trying to belittle you, not at all. I want to hear your voice, I want you to speak freely.. I just can't.. stand having arguments around me. Arguments are my life story, whether its because of me, or a dumb thing another person did.. I can't stand them. I'm sorry Ramses, I'll.. do better.
You being mad at me, that stung. I feel like I broke the connection we had, even if it were so little. I wasn't.. trying to belittle you, not at all. I want to hear your voice, I want you to speak freely.. I just can't.. stand having arguments around me. Arguments are my life story, whether its because of me, or a dumb thing another person did.. I can't stand them. I'm sorry Ramses, I'll.. do better.
Sandy! Is an amazing friend of mine, if I had to make a list, she'd be up in the top 5. One of the first few voices that I've heard ever since I made this damn thing on my ear, but I'm glad she is. She's another one of those admirable martyrs who've given their lives to trying to get us out of this 'occupation', and one of the few people you can rely on for a good conversation. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and she's really one of the few that I can say that I love and care for.
You're just.. you're gone? I can't say.. I didn't expect it, at all.. but it was too soon. We had so much we could've done.. there was so much we should've done.. yet you're gone. The only thing keeping your legacy is those.. stupid birds on the walls, and.. the fact that you're still fresh in my mind. We.. still have to run for a rematch.. that tic-tac-toe game. Just.. don't forget about me, if there is something after death. I love you, Sandy.
You're just.. you're gone? I can't say.. I didn't expect it, at all.. but it was too soon. We had so much we could've done.. there was so much we should've done.. yet you're gone. The only thing keeping your legacy is those.. stupid birds on the walls, and.. the fact that you're still fresh in my mind. We.. still have to run for a rematch.. that tic-tac-toe game. Just.. don't forget about me, if there is something after death. I love you, Sandy.
Emiyo. I can't say much about you. My first experience with you was life changing, seriously. You distracted those cops, and made it where I could see another day.. when I genuinely had no idea they wanted me dead. I know.. what you've been through. I get what you've seen, but that doesn't make you any more entitled to stress and pain than anyone else. You're a human, god knows I don't care what you've done, who you've betrayed, I care about who you are now.. But when I can only put it as I see it, and you're only showing yourself as someone who is too self centered to acknowledge anyone else, and their struggles.. I can't say that I like having you around. I've tried, and I've tried to try and get you to at least acknowledge my grace for how you've helped me, but with that shell.. the barrier between your reality and what you used to know, it's impossible for you to know how thankful I am, and how much I dislike you.
I don't know how or where I found you, but every day you've thrown yourself at me with a smile on your face, and the biggest heart. You've never shown be your bad side, even if you had one at that. You've talked with me constantly, let me have a place to stay, and never once had an issue with how I talk to you. You're one of the most optimistic people of this time, and even I do seem off more than before, you've still gleamed your smile. You.. forget a lot, and that's what scares me. Your memory.. or lack there of, is a scary thing to me. What if you forget me one day? What if you don't remember who everyone around you is? I just.. I don't know. I want to help you remember, but I'm scared that I won't be around anymore to help you. I've found you fascinating.. From the turtles you collect, to your obsession with the Vortigaunts, I've just never been able to imagine you as a bad person, or someone who would only do things for themself. You're.. an amazing person, much better than me. I've.. helped people because I've felt useless, you help people because you see the good in them. If anything were to happen to you, I'd throw myself in the fire pit, just to make sure you're okay.. Irene
FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! They got her. She was.. why did you have to go back down there.. He was fine on his own, he probably got out before us.. FUCK! Come back safe. I just.. I can't. Our bed is empty.. Uriel hasn't been around, Ramses.. I need you back, fast.. Please be there when we move..
I love you.. Irene.
FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! They got her. She was.. why did you have to go back down there.. He was fine on his own, he probably got out before us.. FUCK! Come back safe. I just.. I can't. Our bed is empty.. Uriel hasn't been around, Ramses.. I need you back, fast.. Please be there when we move..
I love you.. Irene.
Time Capsule.
Things happen, there isn't much opinion in that statement. Whether it's your fault, my fault, or the guy next door's fault, its always somebodies fault.Another night in the slums in an older city, I'd forget the number if it weren't plastered around the entire place like it were their favorite number in the entire world. Forty. It was the kind of place that makes you worry to look behind you, whether or not a creep, a thief, or a mugger was ready to do anything harmful was really up to fate. You step in the wrong mud puddle, your belongings might as well have walked onto a shelf the next day.
It took me a long time to get home, or at least it felt that way. Being couped up with Sam, you really couldn't think about anything else. My first mistake was going into a more populated area as a shortcut to get to the apartments faster. Cutting that alley was the worst mistake I could've made, a cop walked into the entrance of the alley, a wanderer, then a straggler, one of the few people on the streets who still haven't figured out the independent life of a slummer. The straggler wasn't someone I recognized, so uncomfortable was an understatement. I still made my way, the few glances behind me to make sure I wasn't entirely boned to the core in that exact moment probably saved my life, because when I saw the cop go down.. it wasn't pretty.
The light behind me drew my attention quickly, seeing the cop collapse sunk my heart.. the straggler holding on to the gun that was usually on the hip of those damned cops pushed me over the edge. His steps were long, and haphazard, almost stumbling when he walked, but he made his move toward me, he was quick. He ran after me, gunfire ringing out right beside me, thank god he was drunk.. or high, whatever he was, because he must've tripped over his shoe or something, but he dropped the gun.
Probably the second mistake I've ever made, holding a gun. I had no idea how much damage those things could do, but they have a kick, and whatever they're aimed at, won't be the same as how it was before. Grabbing the gun off the floor, feeling the rubber grip on my finger tips solidified how much I'd screwed myself. I don't know what took over, and why.. but the barrel of the gun wasn't in my control anymore, it was in whatever instinct was in me to shoot the straggler..
The straggler went down, the gunshot, the sound of gun hitting the ground.. must've alerted the Combine.. but my mind was trained on that cop who was still lying in the alleyway, no assistance.. nothing to support. My legs moved faster than my mind did, by the time I was aware of what happened, my hands had already been pushing down on the gunshot wound in the girls abdomen, the blood coating my hands... my head spun, but my only focus was to make sure she lived.. Her hands grabbed my arms tight because of the pain in her side, but after awhile.. it loosened. Her arms fell to her sides, as she finally turned into her fate.
That was the only time I've seen a cops face. Believe it or not, I started praying when I saw her begin to lose her color, I had to put the mask back on. Her peachy skin had slowly faded grey, but my hands were still red. My hands were still red.
A group of cops ushered me away, they saw me on top of her, trying to make sure she was alive, but by the time they got there, she was already gone. My hands were still red. The cops helped me home, where Sam was. He'd been the only one who could understand me for awhile, he helped me wash up, my clothes, my face.. My hands.
But.. My hands were still red..
If I was a moment faster.. If I had a little bit more strength in my body.. If I didn't run away.. I could've saved her. She still could've lived. Every time I look down at my hands I can only see the blood of the life I practically threw away. I THREW IT ALL AWAY! MY HANDS ARE STILL RED!
I'd been too panicked in the moment. I paid close attention to her words. I signed them every night until the time came for another city. "A few more minutes."-- [A few more minutes] {A few more minutes.} If she'd been alive, for just a few more minutes.. Her cop buddies would've been there. Her death was my fault, I couldn't hold out for just a moment longer..
Validity.
It's really no secret that I've never really been accepted for who I am, my condition really makes that a harder thing. Cop's wanting to kill me, slummers thinking I'm always spying out, or being weird, just because I couldn't hear them. Now recently, I've made something that changed my life, actually making me worth something. A combine earpiece and a makeshift transmitter being mushed together ultimately made a jerry-rigged hearing aid. Now given the damn thing takes the smallest batteries in the world that don't ever have enough charge to last me a full week, but it at least gives me a better alibi than not being able to hear, and being kept in the slums.I.. worked myself into a home, sleeping in a bed, under some covers.. possibly the best feeling ever. I've missed it, so much. Sleeping on that couch in the *public* slums made be feel terrible, but now that I've got my own apartment, I'm doing pretty good for myself. The cops are okay with me being around, they don't really have any problem with it, and as long as I can hear, they see no problem with me being in the city.
This hearing aid is possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I've genuinely made no progress with it. This stupid thing has only made my life a living hell. I feel like I was BETTER OFF, fearing that I'd be killed if a cop looked at me funny, but now that this thing is in my head, I'm practically forced to be apart of society. I can't be Charlie.. I can't be Charlotte. I'm just another number. I don't like this.. I don't like being here. I hate it here. I don't wanna be here.. Badger, Sandy, Noel.. seriously the only reasons I'm still around.
Where did I go wrong..? I've been a neutral party this entire time. I've been so scared to involve myself in anything, for the right reason. I never wanted to be involved, because I knew if I did.. I'd be hunted down, or hated by others. I know its.. inevitable, there's no changing what the future will be like, but I'll try my hardest to keep you guys out of whatever happens to me.
I still don't know you, High-Class. Believe me, you've frightened me, made me uncomfortable to the highest degree, and you've outright.. disrespected me. I've tried my hardest to get to know who you are, and why you do the things you do.. but you're too closed of a book, too insecure of how people see you, so all you do is put yourself on the highest hill, thinking that people would respect you, but I don't. You can't say I haven't tried, because neither have you. You've never entertained how I had to communicate with people, and the moment I get myself normalized you want to throw me away? Throw bottles at me? You're a danger to the people around you, and you want people to feel bad for you for what you went through? You think I was the green-light on what happened? You think those were my people who groveled to me? You deserved what happened to you, because all your efforts are for yourself, you're selfish. You're a pig! You're.. one of them. A conformist, a loyalist. Because all they do is look out for themselves.. Stay the fuck away from me, and her.
Fear of the future.
Unfortunately, as all stories with these characters go about, the fear of this characters death is amplified by her disability, whether its the Combine's doing, or the ignorance of one who cannot hear, this character was meant to pass on someday.This thread will be updated as the story progresses, and concludes.
- atlassu
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