- Joined
- Dec 25, 2020
- Messages
- 727
- Thread Author
- #1
Entry #1"It's been about a week since I fled 24, I'm glad I left when I did, from the sounds of it the nexus I was previously stationed at was destroyed. I was relocated to a massive underground compound in the middle of nowhere, this whole situation feels familiar."
Entry #2
"I was able to see where they took Hex's corpse. I didn't know they had him here until today, I don't know how to feel about being assigned here now. The directorate sent me here for a reason, and my connection to Hex is the most likely reason I can think of. I feel bad that Drakk had to see his brother in that state along with me."
Entry #3
"It's worse than I thought, They don't just have Hex here, they have a sample of the Deviator gas contained here as well. I don't know what the directorate was thinking when they brought that thing here, something as dangerous as the Deviator gas should be locked up in Tartarus."
Entry #4
"I am worried that my close proximity to the Deviator containment chamber could cause issues as a result of my contamination back in city 8. The psychic effects of the gas are stronger when it is closer together, I must remain vigilant, I need to remember what's real and what isn't. I did find out that they have a built-in self-destruct system here, I'm unsure if that's comforting or not."
Entry #5
"This is pointless, We aren't accomplishing anything here, we know how to contain the gas, we shouldn't risk trying to figure anything else out, the risk is too great. The directorate should be having everyone here work on continuing Project Venus. From the sounds of it, Hex had managed to figure out a way to stop the spread of the US malignancy, though everything he knew died with him. At least we know it's possible to pull it off, though I'm worried that by the time we figure out how to stop it, the infestation will have reached an unstoppable size. From the sounds of it, the research alone took Hex years, we don't have that Luxury."
Entry #6
"They gave us our new directive, we are tasked with researching the abilities of the deviator gas. They specifically mention that we must discover exactly how the gas is capable of storing the memories of its victims within itself along with discovering how it is able to reanimate the dead. They stated that they would be sending us "research materials" soon. I don't like where this is going, Nobody here was at City 8, and nobody else saw what this thing was capable of."
Entry #7
"A shipment arrived today, I expected it to be a container filled with new lab equipment and food, but it wasn't. The shipment contained nothing but corpses, each body seemed to have had a different cause of death, some corpses were filled with bullets, others had been burnt to a crisp, and some were in pieces. The directorate sent us instructions not long after the shipment's arrival, we are meant to discover what corpses the gas is capable of reanimating, and if the gas is capable of restoring the memories of the corpses. I don't know if I can do this."
Entry #8
"I've been carrying out experiments for the past couple of weeks, The work is taking a toll on everyone here. Though none of them say it, I can tell that everyone on the team is disturbed by the work we have to do. I don't want to do this anymore, if I could go back to being a normal citizen, I would. I am having trouble finding a justification for anything we are doing here."
Entry #9
"I have started to study the cell structure of the deviator gas, if I am able to replicate the structure on my own, I might be able to create a "new" deviator gas that is disconnected from the existing gas's hivemind. This new gas would be untainted by the evils held within the old gas, it would be a clean slate for us to write something new on."
Entry #10
"While work on the new gas is underway, I have started working on a "Corpse suit". This suit would be utilized in conjunction with the new gas in order to reanimate and contain a human being. This suit would serve as a reverse hazmat suit, it keeps the gas and the corpse held within it so the gas doesn't escape the suit. The gas held within the suit sustains and reanimates the corpse held in the suit. I am designing the suit so that once it is put on, it is unable to be taken off to ensure the gas doesn't escape the suit. I pity anyone unlucky enough to get trapped in this thing. I need to remember to design systems within the suit capable of purging the gas held within in order to prevent a containment breach."
Entry #11
"We are close to finding out if my previous two ideas are possible, a feeling of intense dread lingers over the team as we progress further into our research. We are toying with something that shouldn't exist, The team knows we should stop, but if we did that, I'm sure the directorate would just have us stalkerized and replaced by a willing team."
Update 1:
Entry #12
"They sent us a corpse to attempt to reanimate today, Poor man had his limbs removed and his body burnt to a crisp, though his brain remained intact. I don't know what could have possibly caused these injuries, the limbs appear to have been removed surgically, and while the body is badly burnt, it seems as though the fire was stopped just before it could damage the brain at all. I hope whoever this was died before sustaining any of these wounds, but I have a feeling this isn't the case.
Entry #13
"It was a success, I wish it wasn't. We were able to reanimate this burnt and limbless corpse via the usage of the deviator gas, and it appears as though he retains his human intelligence. When the gas took effect and he awoke, our monitoring equipment showed that any nerves that weren't burnt off were constantly firing off; he was feeling pain, likely pain the same as or worse than the pain he felt when he died. He had attempted to scream, though not much came out, his lungs and throat were too badly damaged. Considering his eyes were practically melted, he was unable to see where he was, so in order to determine if he was under the control of the Deviator gas, we began to ask questions, though we had to wait for hours until he stopped screaming.
We started by asking for his name, the name he provided matched with what records we were given along with his corpse. We moved on to questions about his life, questions like what his job was if he had a family. He attempted to cry for help through most of the questions, but when we asked him if he had family he immediately begged us to not hurt them, upon hearing this I knew he wasn't under the control of the deviator gas, at least not fully. I told him they would not be harmed, I told him I never wanted to do this, I told him that if I could let him die, I would, but if I did, the Combine would just send another person to take his place.
Our orders are to keep him alive as long as we are able to, and considering how advanced the life support systems he is hooked up to are, he won't die for a long time. I desperately want to let him die, nothing we could learn from this experiment is worth the suffering we put this poor man through, I have submitted requests to have the subject terminated, but they have all been denied. I have also been informed that should any members of the research team pre-maturely terminate the subject, the subject would be replaced and the test would simply be restarted."
Entry #14
"A bunch of researchers are asking for a transfer to a different project, none of them want to be a part of this anymore, all requests have been denied. I should have known back in City 8 that the Combine would eventually want to find a use for the Deviator gas instead of just locking it away forever. Hex had once spoken about weaponizing the Deviator gas against the Vortigaunts, a way to take over their hivemind, though now I know that wasn't him that said those words. I joined the CPRD because I was sick of being powerless, I wanted to use my talents like I did before the Combine showed up, but I stayed in the CPRD because I realized that they were humanities best chance at stopping threats like the Deviator gas and the US malignancy. No other group on earth is capable of stopping those sorts of threats, none but us.
I keep trying to justify things, I keep telling myself that these sacrifices will save countless lives, but that is only becoming increasingly difficult. If I am having trouble handling this sort of thing, I worry for the other researchers assigned to this project, I worry that someone may snap or go rogue, and I wouldn't blame them. But I think everyone here knows that if we go rogue, our families will be the ones in these pods next. Our only hope right now is to finish this project as soon as possible.
I don't want any more blood on my hands than I already have."
Update #2
Entry #15
"I didn't think things could become any more hellish here, but things have only gotten worse. Clarkswell euthanized the test subject today, he knew he would be punished for it, so he took his life, and to ensure that we didn't bring him back, he made sure his brain wasn't in a state where we could use it. Clarkswell was a good man, I was his sponsor to get into the CPRD, and I was the one who recommended him to work at this facility, I thought we would be working on fighting the US malignancy, not this. His death is on my hands, I wish I had stayed out of his life, if I did, he'd still be alive, and he'd have lived a better life."
Entry #16
"Everyone had thought Clarkswell didn't have any family left, that must have been what he thought too, but it turns out he had a sibling that was taken into ECHELON at the start of the occupation. He was told his sibling died in a rebel attack not long after the initial occupation, I wish that had been the case because the CPRD just sent us another subject to reanimate, he is in even worse shape than the first subject, the worst part is that he bears Clarkswells surname.
They didn't pick him because he would be a good subject, they picked him to show us what happens if we resist at all, even if we escape this hell they will just bring our families into it. We are completely isolated here, we have nobody to turn to for help, all communications are strictly monitored and the facility is too well fortified for us to leave. Even if we somehow managed to break out of the facility, the facility is built in the middle of a frozen wasteland, but even worse, our families would be subjected to reanimation experiments.
I want to go home, I want my friends back, I want this to stop. I never wanted any of this, I never wanted to hurt anyone.
//
Note, nothing in this is canon to Willard's lore unless the team says so which is why this is posted in creative writing instead of lore.
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