icedout
Radio Bob Approved
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2020
- Messages
- 61
- Thread Author
- #1
SteamID: STEAM_0:1:87173547
Name of the Admin you were banned by: ELSIDA
How long is the ban for?: Indefinite
The reason you were banned?: FailRP, NITRP and screaming hateful content.
Why do you wish to be unbanned?:
Hello!
I want to preface an explanation for my actions with the fact that I understand why this ban was made, and would agree with a continuing form of punishment to be levied out for my actions. I, however, hope to explain here that certain activities occured out of stupidity instead of malice.
Explaining the character:
When I heard that we were going back to Industrial 24, an idea kind of came into my head immediately. I was MoE FL during that period, and I wasn't as active as I'd like to have been there, considering it was the most engaged period of my roleplay. I was there for Bloke, for the ICOBT, the rise of Breenism all the way down to its fall. And I kinda knew that stuff had died out, right? Most people IC and OOC wouldn't know what the significance of that history would be. I wanted to use that knowledge to try something "unique" given the setting. In the context of something, atleast initially, entertaining: An insane follower who sacrificed everything for fascism and only got stomped deeper and deeper into the hole, like Syril from Andor. The torn ICOBT uniform, repeated nonsensical salutes and mentions of "Breen-tastic" and other i24 lingo were supposed to do this, and to generally also emulate the post-apocalyptic trope of survivors emulating things they didn't completely understand, like the guy from Fallout 4 who believes baseball was a bloodsport.
So, that's the idea behind Michelle. An extant, unimportant cog in the ICOBT that got bombed to shit and has been scavenging ever since, until Geneva deigned to return. She's mad yelling about Bloke, about Stenhouse, about anyone and everyone I could reference and joke about. She uses their stupid lingo and, as I hoped my RP would imply (This is not a deflection of blame, but merely the personal failing where things got wrong imo), was batshit insane from the isolation and betrayal.
I called anyone I disagreed with a fascist and did the salute in an intendedly antagonistic way, specifically in an exchange of.
"Yeah, Heil Hitler, you fascist!"
I blurted out random lines and thoughts that just came to mind because I thought they'd add to an effect of insanity. I took it a step further when I insulted a pack of Vortigaunts, then confided with another group about their evil insidious nature. Vortessence? Dark magic. I said they formed a pentagram. A Collaborator woman went with my antics and (assumedly, though IC is IC) jokingly said pentagrams bring good luck.
My mind jumped to political conspiracies, especially US American ones regarding political cabals and did indeed call her a pedophile based on that. Blokeism itself, atleast from my interpretation, stemmed from an explicit third-positionist struggle against regular politics. Not in any way based on enlightened knowledge or fact, but on emotional instability and riling people up into shouting "BREENBREENBREENBREEN" against would-be members of the "establishment" to act like a mouth-frothing animal. Again, intended as insane gibberish, but "I did this ironically" obviously doesn't cut it in hindsight.
I have read this item. I agreed with it, since I didn't think a gender/racial minority should hop on after a long day of work to see someone ICly defend racism/homophobia for six hours, drop one-hundred obscure epithets then be expected to have fun.
It never crossed my mind to actual call someone a jew or slur or hate on a specific sexuality/ethnicity, since that wasn't who the character was and explicitly rung the internal alarm bell of "Not OK, what the fuck?". I can offer nothing else but the notion that I mentally didn't screen the action of the salute, and the name-calling, to be part of this wording, especially in the derogatory context of its user. Though even if it may not be, I understand it is definitely in the same vein and should not be replicated even in an intended ironic way.
Specific ban terms:
FailRP:
A quick message from Elsida implies that this is connected to my text-based conduct, for which I hope to apologize with the points above and below.
NITRP:
I hope this appeal, and the broad extent of my logs, show, that I was indeed attempting to play a character which reacted and acted within the game world, regardless of how misguided my terms might have been.
Screaming nazi propaganda:
I can only reiterate my personal goals and try to elaborate that the character even was ICly was against naziism. She was an anti-establishment fascist (who doesn't see herself as fascist, but Breenist) who hated the old-world (Decrying someone for mentioning spiderman, even) and levied whichever bomb she could at whomever and whoever she didn't like. Leko's Cultist was a Satanist. Anyone else who called her insane? Fascists. Insurrectionists. Collaborators who didn't know Bloke, her saviour? You get the idea. She throws these terms around to shut anyone down who doesn't fit her shattered world-view, to get ahead and feel strong. I did not want to ever endorse the Nazi Party or its policies.
In conclusion, I hope this appeal has brought the flawed, internal logic of this character to light. I do not share any of these views the character seemed to espouse, and hopefully made it clear that it was at it's core a flawed attempt at ridiculing fascist insanity. I also want to explicitly underline that, although I hope to have presented my intentions to the contrary, I understand what I did actually crossed the line and that the people who banned/reported me were well in their rights to do so.
What I hope this appeal can manage to do is show I am sorry for my actions and that I did not have any malicious intent behind them in the OOC realm. I believe what I did does warrant a punishment to deter imitation, but I would please ask for the duration to be moved from indefinite to definite.
Do you have any picture or video evidence to support your reason?:
None.
Were there any witnesses who can help in this appeal?: (List the steam and/or character names of them or tag them):
Regarding the accusation of NITRP
=> Lekoboi (Steam: Leko) can personally attest that I tried to play with set boundaries and rules and didn't just join the server to grief, as this message might imply.
EDIT:
Sorry for this. Made the appeal right after while everything was still fresh in my mind. Completely overlooked the appeal format. Should be implemented now.
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