George
Willard Networks Whistleblower
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2021
- Messages
- 1,550
- Thread Author
- #1
| Nardwuar: Whoa, whoa, whoa! It's Nardwuar the Human Serviette and I'm coming at you live from City 17 with a very special guest today, none other than Doctor Wallace Breen, the main antagonist from Half Life Two. Thank you so much for joining me, Doctor Breen. Doctor Breen: It's a pleasure to be here, Nardwuar. Nardwuar: Now, Doctor Breen, I have to ask you, how did you come to be in charge of the Combine here in City 17? Doctor Breen: Well, Nardwuar, after the Seven Hour War, the Combine offered me the opportunity to become their administrator in City 17. I saw it as a chance to make a real difference in the world and bring about a new era of prosperity and progress. Nardwuar: And how do you respond to those who say that you've sold out humanity and are working with the Combine against your own kind? Doctor Breen: It's a common misconception, Nardwuar. The Combine is not our enemy, but our saviors. They have brought order to a chaotic world and given us the opportunity to work together towards a common goal. Nardwuar: But what about the suppression of human rights and freedoms under the Combine's rule? Is that really progress? Doctor Breen: It's a necessary sacrifice for the greater good, Nardwuar. The Combine's rule may seem harsh, but it's the only way to ensure the survival of our species in a hostile universe. Nardwuar: And what about the resistance movement? They seem to believe that they can overthrow the Combine and restore humanity's freedom. Doctor Breen: The resistance is nothing but a group of misguided rebels, Nardwuar. They are fighting a losing battle against a force that is far greater than they can imagine. The only way forward is to embrace the Combine and work with them to create a better future for us all. Nardwuar: Look over here Doctor, a gift for you! Doctor Breen: A gift for myself? Why thank you Nardwuar, let's see here... A large "gift" is brought onto the screen and placed in Doctor Breen's hands by an Elite Overwatch Soldier, it's a long thin object wrapped in green wrapping paper. Doctor Breen looks at it for a moment, clearly confused about the objects origin. He begins to unwrap it, only to find a standard looking metal Crowbar. He looks horrified. Nardwuar: Prepare for... Doctor Breen: Where on God's Earth did you... How did you find this? Nardwuar: Prepare for... Un... Doctor Breen: How do you know those words, who the hell even are you?! Nardwuar: Prepare for unforeseen... Nardwuar points the microphone incredible close to Doctor Breens mouth, he sits there motionless soon after. He stares the man down, mouth wide open awaiting the response until suddenly, Doctor Breen speaks. Doctor Breen: Prepare for unforeseen- Doctor Breen and Nardwuar, now in sync: Consequences! Nardwuar: Well thank you Doctor Breen, keep rocking in the free world... And Doot-do-do-doot-doot... Doctor Breen: Doot Doot... The show ends, Narwuar does his usual stance of putting his thumb up at the camera while Doctor Breen stands there still, motionless and awkward as he stares on. |
