"And now the story of a group of citizens who gained everything and the one train taking them to their newest destination. Through the fortunate luck of winning the relocation lottery, these ingenuous stars will face a new environment unparalleled to their previous cities and experiences. Making new friends, placing their foothold, and sparking potential romances are foresighted in their coming days."
It's Play Palace.
Outstanding Comedy Series featuring...
Adrian Elpis as lead actor. Rob Jobbington as comedic support actor. Leonardo Malavita as comedic relief actor. Lea Maxine as support actress. 'Annette' as support actress. Han Chenguang as support actor.
NARRATOR:It was a regular Sunday afternoon and Adrian was just finishing up his regular visit inside the only coffee provider in his city, the Union Café.
ADRIAN:See you guys later, I’ve got a busy day! The common mandatory work shift at twelve, followed up by curfew enforced searches which usually takes a good thirty minutes, and, of course, I could never not watch an episode of “Who’s that Rebel,” featuring Ron Goodfella as chief detective and lead interviewer of every malignant citizen! Yep, very busy day.
[ Enters the scene a group of civil protection officers, all stopping Adrian’s usual path to the work shift labor house. ]
NARRATOR: On the contrary, today was not a regular type of Sunday afternoon. In fact, Adrian Elpis was faced with a type of different schedule that he had completely forgotten about.
ADRIAN:Uhm, is- is there a problem, officers?
OFFICER #1:Other than the fact that my buddy over here keeps eating my lunch even though it literally has a sticky note with my name and says ‘DO NOT EAT,’ yes- we do have a problem.
OFFICER #2: Dude, I literally keep telling you it’s not me, it’s our supervisor! I don’t even like mustard and pickles in my ham sandwich, that’s such a weird taste.
OFFICER #1:Then how did you know what I put in my sandwiches?
[ Officer #2 remains quiet, humiliated about the fact that he exposed himself from the months and months of eating Officer #1’s lunches.]
OFFICER #1: We’re going to discuss this later. Right now, we need to deal with this. Adrian Elpis, turn around and get against the wall, you know the drill.
[ Adrian put himself against the wall, arms and hands behind him and legs spread apart. Usually, in situations like these, he’d spread his legs a bit farther for his favorite officer but after finding out it wasn’t a man and, instead, a woman in the suit all along, he quit doing that technique ages ago. ]
NARRATOR:The officers, after patting Adrian down and finding his numerous collection of ‘World’s Best Patient’ pins spilling out of his right pocket (which he supposedly stole from the clinic after a mandatory city check-up), put Adrian into a blindfold and escorted him to the train station.
[ Adrian’s blindfold is removed and is presented near a passenger train car with a standard suitcase and relocation papers. ]
ADRIAN: What is going on? I thought my relocation wasn’t until after ten years of staying here?
OFFICER #2: Well, today’s your lucky day. You were one of the few nominated for the relocation lottery award and now you’re going to the best city the Union can offer.
ADRIAN:Relocation lottery reward? I don’t even remember signing up for a relocation lottery or anything like that?
NARRATOR:Adrian did, in fact, sign up for the relocation lottery after finding out his favorite Union poet said in an interview that he’d never tour City Fifty Two because he couldn’t think of anything that rhymed with the number ‘two.’ This caused Adrian to down two bottles of Bob’s Premium Flavored Vodka, cry for fifteen minutes, and sign up for the relocation lottery so he could move to a city that didn’t end in the number ‘two.’
OFFICER #1: I don’t know what to tell you. You won, here is your official auditory congratulations presented by the Universal Union: Congratulations. Now, here are your bags and you will arrive in your new city in about fifteen hours.
ADRIAN:B-But… I-
[ Adrian is shoved into the passenger car only to have the doors behind him close, and stirring the train to set passage to his newest city. ]
[ The train cart is filled with the rest of the passengers. There sits Rob Jobbington, Leonardo Malavita, Lea Maxine, ‘Annette,’ and Han Chenguang. ]
ADRIAN:So, I’m guessing you guys all won that relocation lottery thingy?
LEA: Relocation lottery what? Sorry dude, you must be in the wrong train cart. This train is going to the city to help Single Cat Mom’s Find Self Love and Furry Friends.
ROB: Wait, is this what this is? Damnit. You know, I was wondering why the officers didn’t give me a bingo card before they left me here. I was really hoping to be playing Unlimited Bingo Nights and win a free pass to the buffet afterward.
ANNETTE:An officer dropped a pack of Newports in here and when I ran to get them, he locked the doors behind me. The box was empty, the sneaky son of a bitch.
LEONARDO:They told me this train was the only way I could go to my great Aunt’s boyfriend’s second cousin’s family reunion. I was really excited to see them all…
HAN:Uh, I fell asleep in this cart and no one ever woke me up. How long have I been on this train, actually?
ADRIAN:What the hell? All of us were lied to and got stuck in this cart? Where do you think they’re taking us?
ANNETTE:Wherever it is, I’m getting a pack of cigarettes and if any of you report it to civil protection, I will make you pay. I can’t go back to detainment, I almost got stuck in a lesbian blood pact and I wasn’t even gay.
LEA: No? Not even thinking that maybe you’d swing or test it out? Since reproduction is useless nowadays.
[ Annette would furrow her eyebrows as well as slightly pout her mouth at Lea, obviously concerned. ]
HAN:If everyone could just take a deep breath right now. We have fifteen hours to practice yoga stretches and journalize how we feel right now.
LEONARDO:I second Han’s yoga, and I think we should have partners! Annette and Lea are my partners and the rest of you guys can team up!
ROB: Yoga? I haven’t done yoga since Woodstock and it wasn’t called yoga back in my time.
LEA: What was it called?
ROB: Well, we called it the butterfly orgy.
[ All members of the train car would groan and moan in disgust. After their moment of revulsion, they would soon begin to argue and bicker, seeming distracted from the main topic of concern. ]
ADRIAN: Guys? Guys! Hello! Have we forgotten what we were even talking about?
ANNETTE: Agh, this is so pointless. I say we break the glass and try to hop out of the train. We find a nearby refugee base and survive through hunting and gathering like our ancestors.
ROB: Are we even able to move between cars on this train or are we just stuck here?
LEA:I tried both of those and it seems like we’re stuck here for good. At least they gave us a little section for the toilet, how generous.
ADRIAN: This is going to be such a long ride…
[ The intercom system within the train car would kick into action with a sharp buzz ringing for a moment before stabilizing. After a moment of technicality, a gravelly, feminine voice would echo through the train, sounding monotone and uninterested. ]
TELECOMS: Good evening, lucky citizens of the Union. As you’ll notice outside the window we are currently exiting the corporate limits of your beloved city, City Fifty Two, and only have thirteen more hours until we reach the destination of paradise.
[ The group of individuals would do a soft groan, seeming disappointed in the long duration of the journey. ]
[ The microphone of the intercom system would pick up the woman taking a drag of her cigarette before a slow exhale soon followed by a few coughs. There would be a few pages flipping as if she was reading off of a script. ]
TELECOMS: Sit back and relax in the Union’s most innovative and luxurious seating arrangements made just for you. Hungry? We have provided you a few ration units within your suitcase filled with snack mix collections, peanuts, and Diet Bob Cola.
ROB: I should have pulled the trigger during Vietnam.
TELECOMS: Make sure to send your gratitude to the Union by being patient, subservient, and the best role model for all civilians in your new city of paradise. During your ride, we will provide hourly notifications. Thank you for riding with Unity Tracks, we hope you enjoy your safe trip.
[ The intercom system would soon shut off, leaving the passengers to themselves to discuss. ]
HAN:Oh, god, Unity Tracks? They really went cheap on us.
LEA: No kidding, at least they could’ve kidnapped and put us in Delta Tracks where we get actual Bob Cola and not diet.
ADRIAN:Oh well, it’s not like we can do anything about it. Let’s just get through this train ride and see where it takes us. We will all be okay as long as we stick together and if anything happens to one of us, we got our backs.
LEONARDO: I think it’d be better if we divide into teams: I got Annette and Lea’s back and you guys can team up.
HAN: I really am not the controversial type, but I can definitely be moral support and a cheerleader from the back!
ANNETTE: I never needed support, I’ve always been a lone dog.
ROB: Kids and their welfare. All we had in my day was a gun and the regular prostate exam to keep us going.
LEA: I’m good at teaming up. We can take photos of our adventures, we can knit each other sweaters, maybe even have a little reunion after five years. It’d be so cute!
[ The group would begin to clamor over one another, all discussing their own thoughts, opinions, and commentary. It would turn into a haywire of chaos, leaving Adrian to sit silently through the turmoil. He’d simply pull out a magazine from the bottom of his chair and read it, even though it was about ten years behind current affairs. ]
I love this sitcom and effort.. since my main char Lea Maxime has been killed I will ensure to bring trouble and fun into town with my new main char and Lea‘s cousin Solea Maxime!
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